New Things

Hey!! I'M BACK!!
well, I know it's lame -.-
I just change a new temple
it's nice =)
I wonder....should I change too for the other blog?


I felt damn lifeless now
yesterday afternoon
when I was in the toilet
suddenly my phone rang
I was quiet happy cause maybe is my brother rang me
said we gonna bring you to tie your teeth
of cause i'm rushing to done everything
but it's quiet late
he missed call me 2 times
and yeah he felt annoyied
cause I didn't answer his call
it's not my fault
I don't know when he will phone me
or whatever and yet he is angry
just like my dad


The second time is when I was bathing
he phone me again
but I didn't noticed it
as usual
they came back when I was still bathing
after I done everything
I went out then he said did you cook the rice already
I said yes
then eh said
the whole rice u finished it la
he was like so rude
I don't felt so good already
then he asked me to help him "korek telinga"
then he was like getting frustrated then push me away
after that I was polishing my nails
let it looks shinning
then he scolded me
don't made the kusyen dirty
oh gosh, what's happening yesterday ><


Although my brother said my dad had went to dentist make an apointment
but I don't know whether he will bring me go there or not
but my 6 sense tell me, I think today they will not bring me go there
duh >< life can be fristrated sometimes
maybe he thinks that i'm such a "da xiao jie"
trying to change but I become a free indonesian maid ><
whatever ><

I'm A Monster

I know i know...
i've been so long did not update my this blog
haha...
something wrong with me
i'm adnormal ><
i saw my friends they were so close with their cousins
and also have alot of fun with them
and have alot of friends
but y...i'm not?
haiz....i don't know what i feels right now...
y can't i be myself????!!!
who can teach me?
sign.....
k then
ntg much to post
ciaozz...

Things Goes Complicated

Teacher...you are right ><
I've realise that i'm accuatlly a very very very silly person
but i'm still doing it
WHAT THE HELL I'M THINKING RIGHT NOW????!!!!
I'm the one who always says other peoples childish
as they reaaly are
but i'm the one who also a childish kid ><
i'm so confuse and headache
and also lonely ><
a lonely soul lives inside me...
exhausted...
form 4 and form5 life hard to go...
when will end?
God...please heal me to decide.... T^T

Tatto Your Name Across My Heart

Emotional as usual
I did not go for chinese class today ><
totally forgot LOL
tomorrow is tuesday...
they will go for literature class
haiz...i feel that i really left so behind
and i feel that they are getting far and far from me =(


Many things to stress about ><
not only school homeworks...
and PIMPLES!!!! please go away from me ='(
don't again...


When I saw some of them in school
just pass by and i was just smiling to them'
but they were like don't botherd
or they din't saw?
I don't know how to express my feeling right now ><
feel like I was smiling to an air LOL
nobody caring ='(
why har? just because I look like noob???
gah...don't want to think about it
really makes me headache ><
even same class with me
we don't wvwn talk to each other like last year =(
what I can say now is only
HAIZ...
this word describe my feeling that unusual
and express 1000 words inside my heart...

You Build Me Up, You Break Me Down

I love this blog so much =)
I have the feeling of everything is back to basic


Well, today i'm having a home tuition
and my teacher said
about the important of english
wherenever you are
english is the most important thing
and i realise that my english is absolutely poor!!
I felt my friends' english is much more better than me
they know more vocabulary compare to me =(
what should I do?
I still remember my temporally mathematic teacher said a sentences that tatoo on my heart
she said: "you muct take these pain."
ya...really pain ='(
a sweet escape?
i think "a BITTER escape" better
but if I don't take these pain from now onwards
on the future...i really don't know how can i survive
espeacially in the college
omg...mission can be complete?
oh gosh ><
it makes me having heartache...
english ah...please love me T^T


Comunication really makes me so stress for many years
I have suffering this pain for many years too
sign....how can I cure it?
i'm so useless ='(
First, i have to build up my confidence
but how?
I want to tell to somebody
I want a person that can cheer me up
but no T^T
a word said "you have to tell someone, they only will know"
but i want to tell they don't want to hear?
how do you explain this?
gah....makes me feel down again T^T
i'll stop here than
ciaozzz =)

If You're Ever Been Alone, You'll Know

I'm just create another blog again
this blog should be my second blog =)
but...this blog is just me and nobody can view it
and know that i've this blog...
i'm gonna let it be a secret
a secret that nobody will know
only me =)
In here...
i'm gonna talk about my feelings
whitout fear to let people know...


Okay,
here it goes...
first i'm gonna to talk about friends
I feel i've been left out =(
I feel that you all are getting more far and far from me :'(
ok i know evryone has their own secret
but I wish that you could share this with me
of coz who u wanan share it is ur right
but i'm kinda dissapointed
*sign* there are too many things to write
but i'm stuck here again ><
btw...i'm really a lonely person


The second one is...
argh ><
until now i still don't know whether i do things is correct or not
i can't say no again
coz this is the 3rd time already T^T
haiz....i think i have no reason for so stress for
time will show it ><
there is too many things i wanna express my feeling now
but i don't know where to start
and how to say *sign*
so I pretend keep everything by my ownself
haiz...i feel i'm super duper useless, stupid and moron!!
I wish you would have to same feeling as me
but is truth you are not =(


Between, I always feels that i'm so ugly
what's wrong with me??
i seriouslly have many problem with the 2nd me
my heart hurts badly ><
i'm not happy...
i make things so complicated
and meaningless...